Sick

I am sick of women thinking being a bitch is a sign of empowerment.
"Yeah, I'm a bitch and proud of it, I tell it like it is!"
Honesty and malice aren't related, not even cousins.
I am sick of little kids being lied to about what love is,
Like Edward and Bella wouldn't be on sixteen and pregnant about to have twins.
I am sick of how love is portrayed as this easy obsession that is flawless and intense,
and defined in a matter of days.
Like if a man doesn't swear himself within a few hours of meeting,
he can't have real feelings for you ever,
and that's because in movies, love is forever.
And sometimes it doesn't work like that,
Sometimes you have to fall so deep in love you fall flat on your back,
and sometimes that person doesn't love you back like that,
and sometimes you get lost in love and have to find your way back,
and sometimes you have to back track to see what went wrong,
and sometimes you find it,
but it took too long,
and now you're stuck on your back for a man who doesn't love you back,
and you go back and forth between love and respect and can't decide which you want more,
when in reality?
Every one deserves both.
I'm sick of feeling like I can't show feeling.
Like a guy will be head over heels until I say something real,
and then I am crazy and clingy when all I was doing was telling you it hurts when you talk to other girls because that was never part of the deal.
I am sick of men being so indecisive.
Like they want it all,
but in reality they only want parts of it.
Like, "Be there for me when I need you, but don't expect me to do the same," and "Don't even look at another guy, but don't trip when you hear another girls name."
Like, "See ya baby, I'm goin out with the guys, don't wait up, I won't be back until sunrise."
Then the girl says, "Hey, I'm gonna go visit with the girls."
"Who's gonna be there, what time will you be back, will you be drinking, will there be other guys there, if so don't bother coming back."
I am sick of being compared to a man when I say something that gives an impression of how smart I am.
I am sick of being called a tomboy because I am strong and don't dress like I am going dancing every day,
and if I do, I am dressed the same way.
I am sick of being told I look like a dyke,
because first of all,
WHAT THE FUCK DOES SEXUAL PREFERENCE LOOK LIKE?
And second of all, my body is mine and that means strangers don't need to look at it all the time.
I am sick of girls acting like they aren't just as shallow as guys sometimes,
Like a guy will turn a girl down if she doesn't have the right color eyes,
but what girl hasn't turned away a guy because of his.... wallet... size.
I am sick of country singers practically rapping in their songs,
Like "I like my cowgirls in straw hats and thongs, she thinks my tractors sexy, and I smoke weed on the beach!"
The fuck would Johnny Cash say if he heard the shit they are trying to teach?
I am sick of losing the people I love to the drug I tried so hard to protect them from,
and I am sick of feeling like a hypocrite because sometimes...
I still want some.
I am sick of living in a world that makes people want to escape so bad they will abandon every dream they ever had.
I am sick of not feeling good enough because of what society tells me.
I am sick of blaming society when in reality, it's because that guy dumped me.
I am sick of walking through spider webs and beating the shit out of myself,
Like why hasn't evolution helped us spot that shit by now?
Speaking of evolution, I am sick of living in a generation of grown up kids,
and sick that I am a part of it.
I am a 22 year old toddler.
A walking, talking, fit throwing baby, with no motivation, and a valid Oregon ID.
I am sick of being too naive to stop trusting everyone I meet,
and I am sick of everyone seeing that and taking advantage of me.
I am sick of not feeling butterflies anymore,
like no one impresses me enough for my jaw to hit the floor,
and that's only because I am jaded and I have seen it all before.
I get it, you're in a band... snoooorrreee...
I am sick of feeling jealous of every girl that walks by,
because they have shiny hair and skinny thighs,
When I should know that confidence is so much sexier than what most girls do to impress guys.
I am sick of complaining so much I forgot what I was complaining about,
and by now I'm sure everyone has nodded out.
But wake up, I'm not sick of you yet.