Old E out of a wine glass. That's all the warning you get.

When people ask me, "Hey Deav, how's the job search going?!" I feel like punching them in the throat, because I know that question really means, "Why don't you have a job yet asshole?" A job search can't be going any way but badly unless I indeed have found employment, in which case it wouldn't be a search anymore would it? If you are looking for something and aren't finding it, that means until the item is found, it isn't going well. UNLESS the item you are looking for has left you clues and things that are leading you straight to it, I guess that could be considered a relatively good search. Productive. Promising.
 So just for the sake of making things easy for you condescending meanies, the job search is going quite terribly. Would you like to know why? BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A JOB YET AND EMPLOYERS AREN'T REALLY LEAVING ME ANY GOD DAMN BREAD CRUMBS TO FIND ONE EITHER.
I am doing everything right. I have updated my resume, I write individual cover letters for every job, and I apply everywhere... Every day. I even applied to a couple labor jobs on Craigs List and then a job at Auto Zone. AUTO ZONE. I can't even drive a car.
It all comes down to one simple fact, and don't tell my mom I said this but, I feel like I would be having a much easier time if I would have stayed in school and then went to college right away. YES I did very well at PYB and YES I got my GED, but I was 20 when I graduated and then worked instead of going to school.
I need skills. I need a degree. I need to do what I really want. I applied for a job I know I am not going to get and I think I did it just because I know that's what I want, and I always work much harder for something someone tells me I can't do. I am just a defiant hardass that way.

NOW, in other news, I am still single which is great and I have been avoiding my ex like the plague which in the past I haven't been able to do and ended up back with him and all his unfaithfulness and spite. I made a pact with myself, like every newly scorned woman does, to not pursue any relationships, and just be alone for awhile, and wouldn't you know it? An old flame comes a blazin into my life out of nowhere and makes me forget all my sanity.
BUT I will have you know that I have controlled my emotions the best I can and have not jumped into any kind of rebound with this person at all. I have my moments where I want to maybe make things happen, but truth is? I just don't trust anyone. Relationships especially. What am I saying? MEN especially.
I am perfectly aware that is extremely stereotypical and I am sure there is a romantic comedy out there somewhere with a plot line like this that ends with the quirky, jaded, love hating, sexually independent girl falls for the Ben Afflek-esque male lead with a heart of gold who just REALLY loves her. But I am not going to be anyone's god damn Zoey Deschanell and the guy I am referring too is definitely not my Ben Affleck. 

SO. Long story short? I am not looking for anything on any sort of serious level that will put me in a situation where I will get hurt again. Besides, I like this guy, and I know that if I was to get involved with him I would become clingy, jealous, suspicious, hot, cold, and weird like I always do and blow it. 

So I guess I will just hang out and see where this dick head of a life takes me. Hopefully there is fiscal stability somewhere in my future.